Thinking out loud: analyzing vs. criticizing

This is something I wrestle with from time to time.

I tend to be an analytical type. That doesn’t mean I am always thinking, processing, discerning, critiquing every little thing, person, point, issue, etc. — but I do a lot. And I think that’s fine to a degree: I don’t think it’s good to be an entirely laid-back, anything goes, “whatever” type of personality. Critical thinking helps us discern right from wrong, better from best, ways to improve, etc.

But when does it cross over into unnecessary criticism, fault-finding, etc.?

Let me apply it to a particular area:

When my husband and I were first married, we spent fourteen years in what I would consider an ideal church. Not a perfect church: there is no such thing on earth. But the pastor was gracious and kind, careful and thorough in his preaching and exposition, a master teacher, godly in his character, and the people were consistently trying to live out their faith, caring, growing spiritually.

When we moved to a different area, we knew better than to try to find a pastor or church just like the one we left: we knew to expect differences here and there. But we were surprised at just how vast the differences were between churches that were alike in core doctrines. Plus, in the town we came from, though there were differences between the churches there as well, most of the pastors were from the same school and thus we knew to a certain extent where they were coming from in what they said and did. In this new area, the pastors were from a vast array of schools, backgrounds, etc., so we didn’t always quite know what their basis was or what they meant by what they said. Thus, as we visited churches trying to determine which was right for us, we needed discernment which involved a certain amount of critical thinking. Acts 17:11 says of the Bereans, as Paul and Silas came and preached to them, “These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.” So we tried to evaluate not just the preaching but the practices and standards of the churches we visited according to Scripture. It was a good exercise for us, because it required us to filter our own beliefs and practices through the same grid as well. That was the first time I really discovered Romans 14: I had read it before, but I had to really search through it and related passages and pull out and apply the principles therein. I guess it was the first time I realized that good people can come out on opposite sides and an issue and each still be right with the Lord.

You sometimes hear people  say that you shouldn’t have “roast preacher” for dinner after Sunday services, and I agree with that. On the other hand, we’ve had to discuss with our children sometimes why we don’t necessarily endorse something the pastor has said while trying not to do so with a critical attitude. Sometimes we have a standard the pastor or the church doesn’t hold to, and we’ve had to discuss that with the kids while also trying to convey to them that good people can differ on issues. What’s most difficult is when a preacher makes an offhand comment that doesn’t jive with our standards. For instance, one visiting preacher was remarked that anyone who let their family watch Finding Nemo was foolish because of Nemo’s defiance of his father. We had to explain the kids that, yes, Nemo defied his father, but he had to face the results of his actions throughout the film, and he and his father both realized they were wrong in certain areas and reconciled at the end. Should we have just tossed out our Nemo DVD because of what this preacher said? No. of course not. God gave us brains to put them to use.

So then after all of that, the question becomes, What do we do with those differences? What do we do when our church or our pastor holds to a different position than what we feel is right?

Part of it depends on what the issue is. If it is a doctrinal error, that would call for discussing it with the pastor to clarify his position and share our concerns, and if it is major enough, it would probably call for leaving the church.

If it is anything else, we may or may not want to discuss it with the pastor. My husband has done so some times, and usually it is a friendly discussion with each man at least understanding the other’s viewpoint even if they don’t come to an agreement.

Let me give you another example: We have visiting preachers some times with whom I would agree in their core doctrines (how one is saved, who Jesus really is, etc.), but not in how they preach: they’re brash and manipulative. When their names come up in one Christian message board I frequent, others share the same opinion (and that is something else I wrestle with: when does talking over an issue or a problem to gain perspective spill over into gossip? But that is a subject for another post). Yet they spend almost the entire year highly touted, going from church to church and camp to camp, and I wonder, “Is it just me? Doesn’t anyone else have a problem with the things I have a problem with?” So when they come to my church, do I boycott those meetings? I haven’t felt that was the right course of action. The first godly pastor I mentioned above remarked once that even the Lord Jesus attended services in synagogues when He walked on earth even though they were highly flawed. But I do tend to come either discouraged or critical, and neither mindset is one open to the truth that is being preached.

So here are some things that help me in this kind of situation:

1. I remind myself that every vessel is flawed: there are no perfect preachers, teachers or churches. My pastor sometimes says, “God can use a crooked stick to draw a straight line.” Years ago there was one radio preacher that I used to turn off in disgust because of his “ranting and raving” style. I got convicted that that disgusted attitude was not right: his style didn’t appeal to me, but evidently it did to some, because he developed a worldwide ministry that lasted long after his death. So I stopped turning off his program, and one day something he said helped me immensely in a spiritual issue I was wrestling with.

2. I remind myself that I am responsible for the truth I hear no matter how it comes out. When I stand before God to give an account for what I did with the truth I heard, I am not going to be able to blame the messenger for not taking in the truth he presented.

3. I pray for the person, that if the issue is something God wants him to deal with, he’ll see it and be open to God’s desire to change him. I pray he will be yielded to the Holy Spirit, say what He wants him to say and not say what He doesn’t want him to say.

4. I pray for myself, that I won’t be hyper-critical and let that issue color my response and that I’ll be open to whatever the Lord wants to show me of my own failings. Romans 14:4 says, “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.”

5. I go back to Romans 14, especially verse 3: “Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.” Aside from the issue of what they are or aren’t eating in that passage, the principle remains that people on different sides of an issue should not either despise or judge each other.

And I guess that’s the answer, or at least part of it, for discerning between analysis and criticism: if there is any sense of arrogance or condescension on my part, I’ve crossed the line.

This has been a different kind of post for me. Usually when I write about an issue, I’ve already come to a conclusion and am presenting the results of my thoughts and study. This time I am literally thinking through it as I am writing. I would normally let it sit and incubate a few days before posting and then polish up the writing a bit, but I think today I am just going to post it as is.

I’d appreciate your feedback if you have dealt with or wrestled with any of these same thoughts and issues.