Goals for the Second Half

There’s always something to look forward to just beyond the horizon.

When we were children, we looked forward to high school and driver’s licenses. Then we couldn’t wait for dating and college. Then we longed for marriage and children.

Perhaps your life track has run a different course: perhaps your goals were tenure at your university, or making partner at your firm. Personal and professional goals intertwined.

And if God grants all of those gifts, we look forward to still more.

When we reach somewhere between age 40 and 50, we realize we’re at about the halfway point, if everything goes well. Soon we’ll be in the “second half” of life, with more days behind us than ahead of us. But there are still things we want to do. Some look forward to traveling during the “empty nest” years. Others finally projects off the back burner. We want to see our grandchildren grow, develop, learn, marry, and have children. We want to be here to have a part in influencing them for the Lord.

A few weeks ago, I was arrested by a couple of verses in the psalms reflecting the writer’s purpose for his remaining years:

O God, from my youth you have taught me,
    and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
    O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might to another generation,
    your power to all those to come.
Psalm 71:17-18, ESV

I recently read of a man who was active in public ministry all his life. When his wife developed Alzheimer’s, he took care of her as long as he could at home. When she needed more care than he could give, she went to an assisted living facility. But he did not want the two of them to be separated: he joined her. He has an active ministry there leading Bible studies and services and talking with residents.

When my mother-in-law was in a memory care unit, I would feel somewhat down long after leaving the facility after visiting her. I can’t imagine voluntarily living in such a place while still in your right mind.

I think of this man’s national and even international ministries contrasted with his life now. His ministry is not evaluated by how many people he is reaching. He is faithfully serving the Lord right where he is supposed to be.

Many of us find that our “older years” turn out quite different from what we had expected due to illness (ours or our spouse’s), parents’ or children’s needs, financial considerations, or any number of issues. But wherever He has put us, we can proclaim His might and His power. We can share those with everyone, but the psalm above particularly speaks of “another generation…those to come.”

One generation shall commend your works to another,
    and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
    and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
    and I will declare your greatness.
They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
    and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

Psalm 145:4-7, ESV

Psalm 78 also speaks of “things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us,” telling “to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done,” “that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments” (verses 2-7).

We can tell the next generation (whether our own descendants or others God brings across our path) the history of how God has worked in the lives of His people, as Psalm 78 goes on to do. We can share His Word, His law, His grace. And we can also share our Ebenezers, testimonies of how He ministered to us and provided for us. We can assure them that He is not just a God afar off in history, but He is God here and now, active in our lives and theirs.

Moses’s prayer in Psalm 90 asks God in the midst of the flying years (verse 10) to “teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (verse 12). Moses concludes:

Let your work be shown to your servants,
    and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
    and establish the work of our hands upon us;
    yes, establish the work of our hands!
Psalm 90:16-17, ESV

It was down at the feet of Jesus,
O the blessed, happy day!
Where my soul found peace in believing,
And my sins were washed away.

It was down at the feet of Jesus,
Where I found such perfect rest,
Where the light first dawned on my spirit,
And my soul was fully blest.

It was down at the feet of Jesus,
Where I brought my guilt and sin,
That he paid my debt and forgave me,
For He died my soul to win.

Refrain:

Let me tell the old, old story
Of His grace so full and free;
Let my heart keep giving Him the glory
For His wondrous love to me.

~ Original words by Elisha Hoffman

(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Literary Musing Monday, Let’s Have Coffee, Porch Stories, Wise Woman, Woman to Woman Word-filled Wednesday, Faith on Fire)

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Laudable Linkage

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Here are several thought-provoking reads found in the last week or so.

Every Testimony Is Dramatic and Miraculous. “There is nothing basic or boring about the life-transforming power of our Lord Jesus Christ. The angels throw a party every time someone comes to Christ, and the parties aren’t less enthusiastic for the freckle-faced eight year olds. Salvation is never small. It is big and dramatic and miraculous, every single time.”

Is Prayer Enough?

What Jesus Said About White Privilege.

7 Stabilizing Principles in a Chaotic World, Part 3: Everyone Is Made in the Image of God. Even the people on the other side of the political fence or the ones who drive us crazy. And we “need to treat everybody—everybody—with that kind of respect.”

How You Might Break the Third Commandment in Church, HT to Challies.

What to Do When a Friend Loses a Baby, HT to True Woman. Much of this is good for other types of loss as well.

Give Children All of Your Attention. Some of the Time. HT to True Woman. I remember  as a young mom struggling with guilt when I did not give my children my full attention, yet feeling it was good for them to learn to entertain themselves sometimes. I thought of women in Bible times or even a couple of hundred years ago who had to do so much from scratch and could not have possibly sat on the floor playing with their children eight hours a day. But it is good to set everything aside for one-on-one time together sometimes. This post has some good thoughts along these lines.

How to Leave Porn Behind, HT to True Woman. Good thoughts on “radical repentance” for any sin.

3 Reasons Contemporary Worship Is Declining, and What We Can Do to Help the Church Move On. I don’t agree with every point here, but I especially like this: “We’ve done ourselves and the church a disservice by insisting that there are two kinds of worshipers, traditional and contemporary…Our musical tastes don’t dictate how we worship, our theology does. Both of these extremes are toxic. All worship is historic because it recalls the creative and redemptive acts of God. All worship is contemporary, because we’re doing it now. All worship is future, because it foretells the coming resurrection.”

And, finally, a smile found on Pinterest. This is close to how I really think now, except I say 20. 🙂

Happy Saturday!

Laudable Linkage

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I found a lot of good reads the last week or so:

On Blind Faith and God.

Why You Desperately Need the Holy Spirit , HT to Challies.

The Power of De-Conversion Stories: How Jen Hatmaker is Trying to Change Minds About the Bible, HT to Challies.

Who Is the God of Mormonism?, HT to Challies.“One thing you’ll discover as you’re talking with your Mormon (LDS) friends is that though we use the same terms, we often mean very different things. Mormons have different definitions of Gospel, repentance, salvation, grace, Hell, and nearly every term you’ll be using in your conversation.”

5 Things That People Who Are Dying Want You to Know, by Kerry Egan, HT to Lisa.

How to Choose Worship Songs. Yes, to all the points mentioned here.

My Son, Withhold Judgment, HT to Challies.There are some times we need to act quickly; there are other times to realize we don’t know all the facts and need to wait.

How Do I Fight Pride When Competing in School, Business, and Sports? HT to True Woman.  “If we are better in some subject than someone else, God made us better. And his reasons for doing so are not pride and boasting and elitism. His reason for doing so is that we might use our competencies for the good of others.”

If God Doesn’t Heal You, HT to True Woman. “Although God can heal us, we must never presume that he must.”

The Why of Encouragement.

Why Do I Believe in Credobaptism, HT to Challies.

Why Young Christians Need Old Books, HT to True Woman.

In Defense of Evangelicals Who Support Trump, HT to Proclaim and Defend. Interesting, whichever side you’re on. Not written by an evangelical but by a Jew who acknowledges that “It is usually easier for an outsider to defend a person or a group that is attacked than for the person or group.” As he also says, “Character is a complex issue.” I’m not willing to say it’s not a factor at all – far from it, and I don’t think he’s saying that, either – but it’s true that some people with awful personal lives can be good leaders. But if we acknowledge that on one side of the ballot, we need to concede it for the other as well.

Growing Old Graciously, HT to Challies.”I don’t know everything, but what I do know, I can share.”

The Benefits of Listening to the Elderly, HT to Challies. “Why might the Lord, in his grace, cause the aged to repeat themselves as they do? What is the Lord showing us through it? Rather than rolling our eyes or thinking ‘Here goes Grandma again,’ what can be gained from these times?”

When I Give a Book.

On Writing Books and Getting Published, HT to Challies.

The Incredible “Mehness” Of Social Media, HT to Challies. An aspect we don’t often think of. Even if much of what we do there is harmless or even interesting, how does that impact our everyday lives and responsibilities? Do those things impact those with whom we have to do or take our attention away from them?

Ideas For Things to Do On a Snow Day, HT to Story Warren.

And in the “Seriously?” category: There’s a Reason using a Period In a Text Makes You Sound Angry, HT to Lisa. I never knew this was an issue – and it shouldn’t be. A period is just the end of a sentence, not the end of a conversation or an indicator of anger, disinterest, or insincerity.

Hope you have a fine Saturday!

(Links do not imply 100% endorsement.)

Laudable Linkage

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Here are a few thought-provoking posts discovered recently.

Heart Check: 4 Questions to Gauge the Stage of Your Heart.

My Larry Nassar Testimony Went Viral. But There’s More to the Gospel Than Forgiveness. Interview with Rachel Denhollander.

Most of Life Is Waiting. “I feared my circumstances more than I feared God. I had lost sight of the reality that both trials and triumphs are part of the good story God is writing through me.”

On Threats From a Hostile Culture.

Don’t Hold Loved Ones Back From God.

The Simple Beauty of Wisdom. The ladies at Do Not Depart have been studying through Proverbs in January and end with the last two chapters. I thought the comments about the “virtuous woman” in particular were very practical and encouraging.

What Do We Do With the King James Version?

Enneagram: The Road Back to You, Or to Somewhere Else?, HT to Challies.

How the Mom Internet Became a Spotless, Sponsored Void, HT to Challies. I don’t think it’s totally dead, and I think there is a place for both the “raw” and the “pretty” types of mom blogs, but this makes some insightful observations.

Physician to Parents: You’re Doing It Wrong. The title is a little off-putting, but he has some practical advice here.

Why You Can’t Measure the Value of Homemaking, HT to Challies.

Don’t Stop Coming.

Happy Saturday!

Laudable Linkage

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Just a few this week, but since some of them had to do with Christmas themes, I thought I’d go ahead and share them.

How God Used A Christmas Carol to Resurrect Literature in My Life. “People can be tempted to think that books are meant to take us away, meant to give us a mental holiday from our lives, but that is not true. Great books, living books, are not meant as an escape from life, but a passage into life.”

Who Were the Magi?

What’s the Difference Between Lament and Complaint? I’ve wondered about this, so this was timely for me.

4 Reasons Every Church Needs Senior Saints, HT to Challies.

End of Year Evaluation. This is not a recent one – I’ve had it in my files for years and think about doing it but haven’t yet. I have trouble choosing superlatives and tend to over analyze all of that. My friend Susan isn’t actively blogging currently, sadly, but thankfully she has left her old posts online.

I mentioned recently that Phil Vischer’s Me, Myself, and Bob: A True Story About Dreams, God, and Talking Vegetables was on my top 12 books read this year. I recently discovered this video of a speech he gave which is kind of a condensed version of the book. It’s fun at first because he does some of the different characters he voices in the Veggie Tales programs. But then he gets to the meat of the matter. Personally I don’t care for the phrases about God “showing up” and calling Jesus “the Big Guy,” but if you can look past that, this is well worth the 56 minutes.

Happy last Saturday of the year!

Laudable Linkage

 

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Here’s my latest round-up of thought-provoking, noteworthy reads discovered in the last few weeks.

Bibles are not talismans. It’s all about the words.

The Importance of Margins.

What Would Jesus Do About Transgender? HT to Challies.

13 Things a Pastor Should Never Say to a Congregation, HT to Challies. Yes.

7 Hard Truths About Retirement, HT to Challies.

Ban the bike! How cities made a huge mistake in promoting cycling, HT to Challies.

If you like writing about imagination, children’s literature, and families, you might be interested in writing for Story Warren: they’re looking for new contributors.

Finally, I was looking for this yesterday in talking about my young grandson’s imagination. I couldn’t find it then but found it later in the afternoon.

Happy Saturday!

Watching angels

When one of my sons was a baby and was intently staring at the ceiling, as babies are wont to do, my mother-in-law remarked that she thought when babies did that, they were looking at their guardian angels. We smiled – I think we even chuckled. I think she got a little embarrassed, but insisted, “No, really, I think they do see them!” We always kept that as a sweet memory of a sweet thought, and often when we saw a baby staring at the ceiling, we’d observe, “There they go looking at their guardian angels again” with a smile.

When we brought my mother-in-law home from the nursing home four years ago, we thought we were bring her home to die. She was down to 90 lbs., very fuzzy-minded, and not very responsive. But one-on-one care, especially in relation to feeding, and getting her off the narcotic drug we had not even known she was on until we brought her home, all improved her general condition dramatically. She’s 89, though, and one can’t stop the ravages of time. After maybe her first year or so at home, she began to decline more and more, moving less, sleeping more. Over the last year or so, she has become less interactive. She stopped speaking about a year ago, but we could tell by her eyes that she recognized us and followed what we were saying. She’d smile, nod, or shake her head. Though sometimes she still does, more and more lately there’s no light in her eyes when she looks at us, no response.

As we got her ready for bed last night, I noticed her staring intently at the ceiling, and that old sweet thought came back: maybe she’s watching her guardian angel.

Who knows what little babies and elderly people actually see when they fixedly stare at some point like that. I don’t know if each person is assigned a guardian angel, but the Bible does say that God sends angels to help us in various ways. Our pastor saw angels before he passed away, and I’ve heard similar things from others.

There is a sense in which all who know the Lord are getting closer to heaven every day, but the older and more frail one gets, the more imminent it seems. “For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life” (2 Corinthians 5:2, ESV). Some day she’ll cast off this silent, crumpled frame and see, not just angels, but the One she has loved and faithfully served for decades, the One who loved her, died for her, redeemed her, and made it possible that she and the family she so loved and prayed for could be with Him.

For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”

 

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:53-57, ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 1 Peter 1:3-5, ESV

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(Sharing with Inspire Me Monday, Glimpses, Literary Musing Monday, Wise Woman, Tell His Story, Coffee for Your Heart, Porch Stories, Woman to Woman Word-filled Wednesday)

Laudable Linkage

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Here’s another round of notable reads found recently:

Please Stop the Mad-ness re “Christian outrage” responses.

Tempted to Quit [Church]? Do You Know Why You Shouldn’t?

Faith Going Forward: A Midlife Following. “If the Proverb is to be trusted, and my mostly silver hair is to be seen as a crown of glory and wisdom, don’t let me be guilty of false advertising.”

How to Engage a Fanatic, HT to Lisa.

I’m a Mom Who Doesn’t. You Don’t Have to, Either, HT to The Story Warren.

30+ Thanksgiving Activities For Kids, HT to The Story Warren.

And, this is the night!!! Daylight Savings Time ends tonight, so don’t forget to turn your clocks back before going to bed. I hate losing the hour in the spring but I love getting it back in the fall!.

(Links here do not imply 100% endorsement of site or author)

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Laudable Linkage and a Question

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It’s been a little while since I have been able to share interesting reads found online lately, so I have a longish list. But first I have a question.

I used to save all my links on Del.icio.us.com, but they’ve not been up to par for some time now – being bought by various companies, relocating, changing their url. etc., and now they’re “read only” – I can’t add new links to them. I liked that the tags were searchable: if I wanted to look up a link I had saved about the Bible, I could search for “Bible” and find all my links on that subject. Lately I have been saving new links to a draft in my gmail account since I always have that open, but sometimes either the draft itself or the content disappears (maybe when it gets too long?) So my question, or actually two questions are: Is there anything else like Delicious out there, and is there an easy way to import the links I already have over to something else? It would take ages to place all those years of links individually, so I probably just would not do that and hope the read-only version of Delicious stays up, or maybe I’d just do it for a couple of the most important categories. I’d love hearing any suggestions!

Ok, on to the most recent rewarding reads:

Hermeneutics for Parenting: Study the Word, HT to Story Warren. Though this is in the context of teaching one’s children, when it gets to the part about Bible study, it’s good basic, concise Bible study truth for anyone.

The Rise of Digital Technologies and the Decline of Reading. This is not an “abandon all technology, books are better post.” Some good tips for finding balance and adapting.

Empty Tables: Singleness and Barrenness. “I had to learn my purpose could not be put on hold until I was married. In the same way, I have to learn I am not less than, being withheld from, incomplete, or unable to learn what God has for me to learn in barrenness.”

Do I Want My Children to Be Careful or Take Risks? HT to Story Warren. This is a hard one to balance. I think I erred on the side of carefulness probably too much, but I can see the need to encourage and allow for some degree of risk-taking as well.

Millennial Motherhood: Three Traps For Young Moms.

An Ode to ‘Women of a Certain Age.’ Loved this, especially after just recently passing a “milestone” birthday. I have a lot of living left to do!

5 Practical Steps For Seeking Wisdom through Mentorship, HT to Challies.

Charlottesville, Confederate Memorials, and Southern Culture. A difficult subject, one I certainly don’t have all the answers for, but this sounds like a reasonable approach.

4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Colorblind, HT to Lisa.

Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parents’ Stuff, Advice for Boomers Desperate to Unload Family Heirlooms, HT to Button Floozies. Also linked to the latter was this place which takes old sewing notions and the like: I don’t like the name of the place but I love the idea!

10 Elements of a Light and Bright Space, HT to Linda. This is exactly my style, except for the open shelving (too much to dust!)

Lessons from the Otter on Doing Hard Things, HT to Jessica. Randy Alcorn draws some observations from an otter afraid to go into the water and then finding it’s “what he was made for.” I’ll include the video below. I love this because this is so me! “Sometimes we need to just get our shrieks out of the way as God lowers us toward the water, finally just jump in that water, and discover the wonderful things God has for us!”

Happy Saturday!

(As always, linking to a particular site does not include 100% endorsement of that site.)

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Book Review: Finishing Our Course With Joy

At 99 pages, J. I. Packer’s Finishing Our Course with Joy: Guidance from God for Engaging with Our Aging  is not a total treatise on aging. Its main thrust is that modern society tends to put older people on the shelf for a life of indulgence and idleness, but Christians should continue growing in our relationship with God as well as our ministry to others. Our ministry may look different from what it did in our youth, but God still has a purpose for us being here. He acknowledges that one fourth of the “oldest old” (over 85) will have some degree of dementia, but:

These pages address those who, by God’s grace, still have their faculties intact; who recognize that, as is often and truly said, aging is not for wimps; and who want to learn, in a straightforward way, how we may continue living for God’s glory (p. 14).

He says that for years, people have viewed older age as a state of decline, but we should view it as what he calls “ripeness” or maturity.

We know the difference between ripe and unripe fruit: the latter is sharp, acid, hard, without much flavor, and sets teeth on edge; the former is relatively soft and sweet, juicy, mellow, flavorful, leaving a pleasant taste in the mouth” (p. 18).

The Bible’s view is that aging, under God and by grace, will bring wisdom, that is, an enlarged capacity for discerning, choosing, and encouraging (p. 19).

[Racers] always try to keep something in reserve for a final sprint…so far as our bodily health allows, we should aim to be found running the last lap of our Christian life, as we would say, flat out. The final sprint, so I urge, should be a sprint indeed (pp. 21-22).

He discusses various ways to do that, living one day at a time as if it truly might be our last, with glorifying God as our “constant goal,” avoiding excessive daydreaming and nostalgia, ready to go whenever God calls us home.

The fact that one is no longer under any pressure to use one’s mind in learning things, solving problems, or strategizing for benefits either to oneself or to anybody else, will allow intelligence to lie permanently fallow, and this, so they tell us, may very well hasten the onset of dementia. The agenda as a whole turns out to be a recipe for isolating oneself and trivializing one’s life, with apathetic boredom becoming one’s default mood day after day (p. 30).

He discusses some of the temptations of old age, such as “going with the flow” of everything declining, even spiritually, or not acknowledging any decline due to pride and becoming “tyrannical” with family and friends after having to leave one’s sphere of work (pp 45-46).

He discusses how the church’s view too often mimics the world’s views of retirement:

Yet the common expectation, undiscussed but unchallenged, is that retirees will not continue the learning and leading that were big in their lives while they were at work. The most that the church will expect of them now is that they will continue to support from the sidelines, as it were, the modes of ministry in which others engage (pp. 62-63).

By moving us to think this way, however, Satan undermines, diminishes, and deflates our discipleship, reducing us from laborers in Christ’s kingdom to sympathetic spectators…(p. 63).

Still taking their cue from the world around, modern Western churches organize occupations, trips, parties, and so forth for their seniors and make pastoral provision for the shut-ins, but they no longer look to these folks as they do to the rest of the congregation to find, feed, and use their spiritual gifts. In this they behave as though spiritual gifts and ministry skills whither with age. But they don’t; what happens, rather, is that they atrophy with disuse (pp 63-64).

He encourages churches to balance acknowledging that there is bodily decline and ministering as needed to seniors with seeking to “cherish and continue to harness the ministering capacities” of older saints (p. 64). “And elderly Christian themselves should press on in the worship and service of God and in pastoral care for others, up to the limit of what they can still handle…” (p. 64).

“The challenge that faces us is not to let that fact [that our bodies are slowing down] slow us down spiritually, but to cultivate the maximum zeal for the closing phase of our earthly lives” (p. 72). He then spends several pages discussing zeal and quotes J. C. Ryle as saying that “Zeal in religion is a burning desire to do his will, and to advance his glory in every possible way” (pp. 74-75).

He urges balance in families as well, encouraging seniors not to be “dictatorial” or “invade family circles unasked,” remembering that “loyalty to one’s spouse should trump the claims of parents,” and encouraging families not to “ignore mature wisdom that is available…in [their] older relatives and friends” (p. 97).

He also discusses nurturing the hope of heaven, letting that be a guide and inspiration as well as a testimony, and remembering that we will give account at the judgment seat of Christ that Christians will face (different from the judgment that unbelievers face).

There is a lot packed in this short little book, and it’s encouraging to be reminded that God still has things for us to do for His glory as we age.

(Sharing with Semicolon‘s Saturday Review of Books, Literary Musing Monday, Carole’s Books You Loved)