Thursday Thirteen #22: Valentine’s jokes

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Some of these are really corny; some are cute. πŸ™‚ There are more than 13, so you get a free bonus today. πŸ™‚

What did one light bulb say to the other?
“I love you a whole watt!”

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Ughs and kisses!

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”

What is a ram’s favorite song?
I only have eyes for ewe, dear.

What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?
A card that says, “I love you drool-ly!”

What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
“I love you with all my art!”

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
“I’ve got a crutch on you!”

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!

What did one piece of string say to the other?
“Be my valentwine!”

What did one fir tree say to the other?
“Be my valenpine!”

What did one bell say to the other?
“Be my valenchime!”

What did the boy pig say to the girl pig?
Be my Valenswine!

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
Be me Valenstein!

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?
He left lip prints on the mirror!

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche!

What did the pencil say to the paper?
“I dot my i’s on you!”

What did one pickle say to the other?
“You mean a great dill to me.”

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
“You’re fun to hang around with.”

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion!

What did one oar say to the other?
“Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”

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38 thoughts on “Thursday Thirteen #22: Valentine’s jokes

  1. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
    He fell in love with a pincushion!

    This was my absolute favorite! Even though the jokes are corny, they’re still cute.

    Happy Thursday to you! I came here by means of the TT Meet and Greet. πŸ™‚

  2. Barbara! These are just my kind of jokes! I love them and just so you know…they will probably appear on my blog before long. I’ve been sitting here reading them to my husband and have we ever been laughing! I love “groaners”. I hope you don’t mind if I link to your blog. I’ve really enjoyed my visit and will be back. God Bless!

  3. *shakes head* Oh, dear. Those are great. There’s a guy in my office who’s King of the Corny Jokes. Perhaps I’ll send him over to read these. πŸ™‚ Happy TT and happy Valentine’s day!

  4. This just made my day and now I’m smiling from ear to ear!
    All of them are funny but I like the porcupine one =))

    Say, Barbara- may I copy this one for my future blogs?

  5. Pingback: Renaissance Blogger » Thursday Thirteen XII - The Authors

  6. Thank you MUCH for the chuckle! Where did you find these?! I must be surfing the “tremendously pompous jokes” websites, cause I never find good ones. Oh well…
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the comment! I always look forward to reading your lists. Happy Thursday, and drop in again any time!
    DK
    A Flyover Blog

  7. Hello! Thank you for visiting my blog and for the birthday wishes!

    Thank you for all the funny Valentine jokes, I’ll be sure to share them with my kids!
    Kelli

  8. Awesome TT. I loved them!
    Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
    Thank you for your visit to mine.
    Have a wonderful day!
    Happy TT’ing!
    *^_^
    (=’:’=)
    (“)_ (“)Ε 
    Raggedy

  9. My doctor will be so pleased at my diet. I just had enough sweet corn to last a lifetime. Emphasis on the corn but I forgive you it is for Valentines Day. Thanks for stopping by my Thursday Thirteen.

  10. These are great! I’m going to send them to my dh when he’s at work. He works overnight at our local hospital and I usually send him several e-mails. These jokes will be great for that! Thanks for sharing!!

  11. A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says β€œI’ve got a Rolls Royce β€” keep it until the loan is paid off β€” here are the keys.” The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank’s underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000.
    Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, β€œSir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?”
    The man answers, β€œI had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?”

  12. Pingback: Valentine’s links and favorites « Stray Thoughts

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