May 10, 2007...8:31 am

Thursday Thirteen: Mother’s Dictionary

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This has made the e-mails rounds several times over, so it’s probably old to many. But I thought these were funny even after several readings, and appropriate for Mother’s Day coming up. There are just a few more than thirteen, but I’ll let you have those free. :) The lovely Thursday Thirteen banner above was made by Yellow Rose.

ADULTS: Group of people Mom longs to communicate with after several hours of talking in small words about topics like “who touched who first”

BATHROOM: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.

BECAUSE: Mom’s reason for having kids do things which can’t be explained logically.

CHINA: Legendary nation reportedly populated by starving children who love leftover vegetables.

DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

LOOK OUT!: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

SUNDAY BEST: Attractive, expensive children’s clothing made of a fabric which attracts melted chocolate and grape juice.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

“WHEN YOUR FATHER GETS HOME”: Standard measurement of time between crime and punishment.

WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly to “Get a sponge.”

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

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